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BETTER TOGETHER IN THE CIRCLES OF LIFE

SERIES:  BETTER TOGETHER

PART 6:  BETTER TOGETHER IN THE CIRCLES OF LIFE

Text:  Ecclesiastes 4:12 NLT 

Pastor Tom Cogle

Sunday, December 1, 2024

Ecclesiastes 4:12

A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.

  • “Who’s got your back?”

FRIENDSHIPS – CIRCLES OF LIFE

John 15:15 NIV

I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.

  1. “The only way to have a friend is to BE ONE.”              Ralph Waldo Emerson
  • Friendship is the social GLUE that keeps couples, families, kindred spirits, and communities together.
  • When we recognize people CRAVE connection, it gives us confidence to reach out.
  •  People want to be SEEN and HEARD.
  • The most beneficial relationships for our social and emotional health are RECPRICOL in nature.
    • There is mutuality. People who support each other tend to build the heathiest friendships.
    • Many people confuse friendship with “transactional relationships,” viewing friends as sources of social or professional status or material favors.
    • It’s not about what someone can do for you, it’s who and what the two of you become in each other’s presence.
    • FORGIVENESS is crucial to mending and maintaining friendships.

Colossians 3:12-14

Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. 13 Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. 14 Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. 

JESUS MODELED RELATIONSHIPS

  1. He hung out with the multitudes.
  2. He had 72 followers.
  3. He was close friends with 12.
  4. He was closest to Peter, James, and John.
  5. His best friend was John.

THREE CIRCLES OF FRIENDSHIP

  1.  CLOSE / INNER CIRCLE FRIENDSHIPS
  1. A small group of people we rely upon for protection,

support, and sustenance.

  • These are spouses, close friends, and family that we   depend on in a crisis, the people we WANT to spend

             time with on a frequent basis.

  • These are our strongest mutual bond.
    • They also require the most time and energy which limits

the number of relationships we can sustain. We max out around 15 people.

  • We are wired to devote about 60% of our time and

energy to this group of inner-circle friends. Which most of this is spent on our closest intimate friends who rarely

  1. CASUAL / MIDDLE CIRCLE FRIENDSHIPS
  1. Occasional companions that can number up to around

150 people.

  • These are not the first ones we turn to for support, but

they are likely to lend a helping hand if we asked and vice versa.

  • These are “buddies” we spend time with a few times a

 year.

  • Old school friends and relatives we reach out to during

the holidays and the well-wishers we inform of our marriage or birth of a child.

  • The best way to grow this circle of friends is to join

groups (small groups, serving teams, sports teams, mutual hobbies, worship team).

  • COMMUNITY / OUTER CIRCLE FRIENDSHIPS 
  1. Colleagues and acquaintances.
    1. People with a sense of shared purpose and interests.
    1. Familiar people our lives intersect with at the local store,

on our job, with neighbors, and at church. This is a community of up to potentially 500 people.

BIBLICAL ELEMENTS OF LIFE ON LIFE

Philippians 2:2-4

Then make me truly happy by agreeing wholeheartedly with each other, loving one another, and working together with one mind and purpose. 3 Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. 4 Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.

Hebrews 10:24

Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works.

Galatians 6:1-3  Dear brothers and sisters, if another believer is overcome by some sin, you who are godly should gently and humbly help that person back onto the right path. And be careful not to fall into the same temptation yourself. 2 Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ. 3 If you think you are too important to help someone, you are only fooling yourself. You are not that important.

2 Timothy 2:2 You have heard me teach things that have been confirmed by many reliable witnesses. Now teach these truths to other trustworthy people who will be able to pass them on to others.


Romans 12:10 AMP  Be devoted to one another with [authentic] brotherly affection [as members of one family], give preference to one another in honor;

James 5:16 Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results. 

Galatians 5:13-14 use your freedom to serve one another in love. 14 For the whole law can be summed up in this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” 

BETTER TOGETHER IN SMALL GROUPS

  1. I recognize my need for relationships and friends.
  2. I value the influence and accountability of godly men and women upon my life.
  3. I know I’m stronger on a team than I am on my own.

*All scriptures are NLT (New Living Translation) unless otherwise noted 

QUESTIONS

  1. What is your biggest challenge in making and keeping friends?
    1. Describe some of the people who are in your “close inner circle of friendships” and what makes that relationship positive and healthy?
    1. What is your greatest hesitancy in allowing people into your inner circle of friendship?