Conflict Resolution Pastor Tom Cogle
JAMES 3:13-4:12 Sunday, September 7, 2025
Galatians 5:16-17 So I say, let the Holy Spirit guide your lives. Then you won’t be doing what your sinful nature craves. 17 The sinful nature wants to do evil, which is just the opposite of what the Spirit wants. And the Spirit gives us desires that are the opposite of what the sinful nature desires. These two forces are constantly fighting each other, so you are not free to carry out your good intentions.
Matthew 12:34b-35 For whatever is in your heart determines what you say. 35 A good person produces good things from the treasury of a good heart, and an evil person produces evil things from the treasury of an evil heart.
- The heart is where it all STARTS.
James 3:13 If you are wise and understand God’s ways, prove it by living an honorable life, doing good works with the humility that comes from wisdom.
Matthew 5:16 In the same way, let your good deeds shine out for all to see, so that everyone will praise your heavenly Father.
- The fruit reveals the ROOT.
CONFLICTS OF WISDOM
James 3:14-16 But if you are bitterly jealous and there is selfish ambition in your heart, don’t cover up the truth with boasting and lying. 15 For jealousy and selfishness are not God’s kind of wisdom. Such things are earthly, unspiritual, and demonic. 16 For wherever there is jealousy and selfish ambition, there you will find disorder and evil of every kind.
- Wisdom isn’t merely the data we have in our heads; it’s the disposition of our HEART and the deeds of our HANDS.
James 3:17-18 But the wisdom from above is first of all pure. It is also peace loving, gentle at all times, and willing to yield to others. It is full of mercy and the fruit of good deeds. It shows no favoritism and is always sincere. 18 And those who are peacemakers will plant seeds of peace and reap a harvest of righteousness.
- God’s direction and wisdom for our life is NOTICEABLY different from the world.
CONFLICTS WITH PEOPLE
James 4:1-2a What is causing the quarrels and fights among you? Don’t they come from the evil desires at war within you? 2 You want what you don’t have, so you scheme and kill to get it. You are jealous of what others have, but you can’t get it, so you fight and wage war to take it away from them.
- The source of our conflict: “I have met the enemy, and he is ME.”
James 4:2b-3 Yet you don’t have what you want because you don’t ask God for it.
3 And even when you ask, you don’t get it because your motives are all wrong—you want only what will give you pleasure.
- Some people only want a relationship with God for what they can GAIN from the relationship.
CONFLICTS WITH GOD
James 4:4-5 You adulterers! Don’t you realize that friendship with the world makes you an enemy of God? I say it again: If you want to be a friend of the world, you make yourself an enemy of God. 5 Do you think the Scriptures have no meaning? They say that God is passionate that the spirit he has placed within us should be faithful to him.
- Spiritual adultery is when we leave our first love to become a “lover of the WORLD.”
1 John 2:15-16 Do not love this world nor the things it offers you, for when you love the world, you do not have the love of the Father in you.” 16 For the world offers only a craving for physical pleasure, a craving for everything we see, and pride in our achievements and possessions.
CONFLICT RESOLUTION
James 4:6 And he gives grace generously. As the Scriptures say, “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.”
- We choose to walk in humility and GRACE.
James 4:7a So humble yourselves before God.
- We SURRENDER to God.
James 4:7b Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
- We resist the devil.
James 4:8a Come close to God, and God will come close to you.
- We intentionally PURSUE God.
James 4:8b Wash your hands, you sinners;
- We REPENT of sin.
1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
James 4:8b purify your hearts, for your loyalty is divided between God and the world.
- We live with a single-minded FOCUS.
- Spiritual adultery is when we leave our first love to become a “lover of the WORLD.”
1 John 2:15-16 Do not love this world nor the things it offers you, for when you love the world, you do not have the love of the Father in you.” 16 For the world offers only a craving for physical pleasure, a craving for everything we see, and pride in our achievements and possessions.
CONFLICT RESOLUTION
James 4:6 And he gives grace generously. As the Scriptures say, “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.”
- We choose to walk in humility and GRACE.
James 4:7a So humble yourselves before God.
- We SURRENDER to God.
James 4:7b Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
- We resist the devil.
James 4:8a Come close to God, and God will come close to you.
- We intentionally PURSUE God.
James 4:8b Wash your hands, you sinners;
- We REPENT of sin.
1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
James 4:8b purify your hearts, for your loyalty is divided between God and the world.
- We live with a single-minded FOCUS.
James 4:9-10 Let there be tears for what you have done. Let there be sorrow and deep grief. Let there be sadness instead of laughter, and gloom instead of joy.
10Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up in honor.
- We REALIGN when we’ve done wrong.
1 John 1:9-10 But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness. 10 If we claim we have not sinned, we are calling God a liar and showing that his word has no place in our hearts.
James 4:11-12 Don’t speak evil against each other, dear brothers and sisters. If you criticize and judge each other, then you are criticizing and judging God’s law. But your job is to obey the law, not to judge whether it applies to you. 12 God alone, who gave the law, is the Judge. He alone has the power to save or to destroy. So what right do you have to judge your neighbor?
- We stop CRITICIZING and judging others.
Matthew 7:1-2 Do not judge others, and you will not be judged. 2 For you will be treated as you treat others. The standard you use in judging is the standard by which you will be judged.
*All verses are NLT (New Living Translation) unless otherwise noted*
REVIEW
- Walk in humility & grace.
- Surrender to God.
- Resist the devil.
- Run to the Father.
- Repent of sin.
- Live single minded.
- Express remorse for sin.
Don’t point fingers at others